Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Stupid-drunk-inbred-three-wheeled-asshole….

He literally wanted to kill Me and Big Baby…..

Took the Monday off to finally transfer Big Baby to my name, and rode the Volty throughout the day to do the transfer at the DMT, to get the third party insurance and finally had to get the emission test done. Took Big Baby out and decided to keep things on the safe side and ride at a decent and safe speed in order to avoid unfortunate eventualities.

But fate is a bitch….I had literally transferred big baby to my name a couple of hours ago….It was a hot day and I needed something to drink, so got a few bottles of soft drinks form the food city near Amba Gaha junction. After a couple of sips in the FC parking area I got back on Big Baby and was waiting to put her on to the road towards the junction. Spotted a gap between a truck and a three-wheeler and decided to slot in. Little did I know that the three-wheeler was being driven by a Motherless-Fuck…

Angry that his Assholeness was cutoff, he decided to whack the side of my leg with his little piece of shit-box, which fortunately didn't make me lose my balance while we both were taking the bend… I asked him ‘pissu dha?’…. and then took off over taking the truck in front….. Approaching a slight bend in the road ahead I decided t keep to my earlier resolution to make this ride as safe as possible and slow down again…. Stupid resolution….

That waste of space that was driving that shit-box three-wheeler pulls up on my left and turns full on into me…..knocking Big Baby down and throwing me off her and on to the road chest first….

My world turned upside down and inside out….I recover and start running after the bastard, only one shoe on and limping…didn't think he’d stop but he did….reached him and snapped a picture of his license plate while him and his inbred progeny blabbered bullshit into the air…. He was drunk too…

I could have had him sent to jail……..

I could have ruined his life……

I could have made it so he would have regretted that day for the rest of his shitty fucking life……

I didn't….

The officer in charge at the police station reamed him for 10 minutes.....the only satisfaction I took from the whole ordeal...

This is the last I will think of him….

But I can’t get the image of Big Baby crumbling into pieces in front of my eyes as the ground falls away from underneath me….

“The Mechanic” got her started at least yesterday….and she still sounds the same, through bent forks, ripped headlight and holder…. dented and scratched tank….Her Soul is still there….I rode her and she still responds the way she used to…. But everything is misaligned, cracked, scraped….The perfection that she was will never be again I fear.....

I’m praying for a miracle……..








Picture of the Asshole of the Century (flip this jealous fool the bird if you see him)....... as requested by Jack Point ....


Wednesday, July 2, 2014

IT’s GON’ RAIN!

Monsoon season in Sri Lanka is a pain in the ass for riders. Mostly since Sri Lanka is lucky enough to have not one but TWO monsoons, which pretty much cover a major part of the year, with a couple of month long breaks in between them; ‘The northeast monsoon (December to March), and the southwest monsoon (June to October)’ according to Wikipedia.

Having decided to ride to work instead of drive, with a good 30 minutes less taken to get to work on the motorcycle compared to the car which gets stuck in traffic, the start of one of the rainy seasons means it’s a gamble every time you leave to or from work. Getting caught to a light drizzle the other day on the way back from work was the deciding factor for wearing a jacket, which I didn't do earlier due the tropical heat that IS Sri Lanka. But of course now not wearing a jacket is not an option.

And this weather also means extra TLC for the Volty and Big Baby, lubing chain etc.. more often. Just got the Volty chain cleaned and re-lubed after a little DIY disaster where I ended up putting some high end sticky lube meant for Big Baby. The chain suffered for a week with noise and loss of power before I got “The Mechanic” (await a future post on “The Mechanic”) to kerosene bathe the chain and re-lube with oil. It’s wonderful when a DIY attempt works out, but when it goes wrong, forget about it….

Anyway back to the weather; the usual thing you’d do when you get caught to some sudden precipitation while on a ride is to pull into the nearest bit of shade, maybe under the eve of some random shop and wait it out. This is the one time that our four wheel counterpart’s wiz by, pointing and laughing at the poor stranded and wet…

There are of course assortments of raincoats ranging from the silly looking to the functional, with some an added danger of getting it entwined in some other moving traffic and pulling you along with it.

But such is the life of a rider in SL, with rain, sun and vehicle fumes being part and parcel of the freedom of the ride. It’s very difficult to not sound like you are ranting when writing about riding motorcycles in Sri Lanka. I try very hard not to sound like I’m always complaining on my posts, because I actually love riding around our little island. But all the little eccentricities of the Sri Lankan roads, and more importantly of their users, can come off sounding like a bit of a ranting session when put down in writing.

That’s a bit of a vertical slice of wet riding around the streets of Colombo… stay tuned for a post full of praise and admiration of the one and only man I love to call ‘The Mechanic”….